i permit you to call me
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
