The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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