Do you still have your period?
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
ttyl tear gas
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
