Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
