My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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