When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
