He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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