you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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