ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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