you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
