speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
