I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
