so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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