i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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