I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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