Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
