Yo dont text me then not text me
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
