you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
