just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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