He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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