I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Do vagina's smell?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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