shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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