Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
