That's when you crack a 10am beer
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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