It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
