I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
