I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
