What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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