well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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