You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
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I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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