i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
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i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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