I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
