Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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