Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
My bed smells like the plague
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
