absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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