I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
and she was petting her beer can
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
