just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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