i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.