I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
