Whod you bang
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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