Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
