would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
