I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize