i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
