we're blogging at a bar
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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