I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
