I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
