we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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