I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
