so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
