just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
