I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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