brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
