Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
