why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
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How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
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Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize