very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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