Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
