I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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