she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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