Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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