i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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