Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
