Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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