how can u be prego again
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
