I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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