Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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